When your world falls apart and you’re fighting for custody of your children, it can be difficult to think about anything else. You get lost in the legal proceedings and lose sight of how you can be a good parent while going through this stressful time. Being a good parent is important during your divorce for many reasons, but these tips will help you focus more on what’s best for your kids and less on what you’re going through.
1: Put Your Children First
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s difficult to think about anything else. But when the kids are involved, everything else becomes secondary. Your children need your time and attention after you separate from your spouse, and they need to understand what’s happening. They need you to be available and able to answer their questions and help them through this difficult time.
2: Maintain a Household with Consistent Rules
Your children will feel more secure if they know what to expect. After you separate, keep rules consistent for your kids no matter where they are or who is watching them. This means that there should be the same rules about homework, chores, and bedtimes. Your children should also know what to expect in terms of discipline.
3: Remain Engaged with Your Kids
Your kids need your time and attention after you separate from your spouse. Spend quality time with them so they feel special and loved unconditionally. Make an effort to take part in your children’s lives and events.
4: Respect Your Children’s Feelings
Your child will go through a range of emotions after the divorce, which means you need to be sensitive about their feelings. It can be difficult for them to adjust to a new routine during this time, but it is important that they feel safe and loved unconditionally.
5: Let Your Children Be Kids
Your children still have lives to lead after you separate. They don’t want to worry about the divorce, so give them opportunities to be kids and not worry about adult problems. Take them out for ice cream or let them play at the park for a while, and give them some time to be children without having the divorce on their minds.
6: Don’t Worry, Be Happy
You may be going through a lot after the divorce, but you have to remain positive for your kids. You don’t want them to see that their parents are miserable and put them in the middle of problems, as this won’t help their mental well-being.
7: Be a Good Listener
Your children will feel more secure if they know that you are willing to listen before trying to solve any problems. Allow your kids to talk about what they’re feeling and show an interest in their lives.
8: Be Patient
Your children will continue to look to you for guidance and love, even after the divorce. They need time to adjust and understand that the changes they see are not because of them or what they’ve done wrong. Let your kids deal with difficult emotions without jumping in with advice.
9: Maintain Your Own Life
While you need to take care of your needs, it’s also important to maintain your own life. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be there for your kids when they need you the most. Rediscover your interests or take an adult education class that will challenge and motivate you.
10: Get Help if You Need It
Going through a divorce is difficult and it’s normal to consult a divorce lawyer. But if you’re having a hard time dealing with the divorce, don’t hesitate to seek help. You could find yourself overwhelmed during this difficult time and turn to counsel or family therapy for assistance.